The Vatican has teamed up with Mr. Men children’s books to help English Catholic parents tell the story of the Synod on the Family to their children. Now your children can follow, and relive, those key moments of the Synod with Mr. Men characters. The book has been written but not yet been released. However, the characters have been published so you can tell your little lambs the full official story.

Naturally, parents will be astonished that the ‘story of the Synod’ is to be released before the Synod ends, but Cardinal Lorenzo Baldisseri has made it clear that the pre-written story of the Synod is completely trustworthy and will reflect reality retrospectively.

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Pope Francis

 

 

 

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Cardinal Walter Kasper (everybody loves Mr. Tickle!)

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Fr Thomas Rosica of Salt and Light TV

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Cardinal Godfreed Daneels (keep quiet about the conclave, and you won’t be so nervous!)

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Archbishop Bruno Forte, our lovable little rogue

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Cardinal Peter Erdo (keep talking Mr Noisy!)

 

Cardinal Oscar Rodriguez Maradiaga

 

Bishop Peter Doyle of Northampton

 

Cardinal Vincent Nichols (nice man, but only interested in his red hat really…)

Archbishop Stanislaw Gadecki of Poznan (Always thinks things are impossible, wants to thwart God’s dream!)

Cardinal Lorenzo Baldisseri (our expert in promoting relativism)

Cardinal Wilfrid Napier

 

Archbishop Diarmuid Martin of Dublin (Crisis? What crisis?)

Archbishop Blaise Cupich (prepared to think ‘outside the box’)

 

Fr Antonio Spadaro (all journalists are like this)

 

Cardinal Reinhard Marx

 

 

Cardinal George Pell (always moaning)

 

Fr Frederico Lombardi, S.J (has a difficult job)

 

Cardinal Gerhard Ludwig Muller (Calm down, it will all be okay!)

 

Bishop Athanasius Schneider (not invited to the Synod, because bravery is not for Christians)

 

Cardinal Raymond Burke (not invited because nobody likes a ‘Mr. Perfect’!)

Cardinal Robert Sarah

Pope Emeritus Benedict (not invited because ex-Popes who are “specialists of the logos” don’t have anything to say to modern man)

 

Monsignor Pio Pinto

 

Cardinal Angelo Sodano (always fussing around, trying to control Vatican life)

 

Cardinal Luis Antonio Tagle (Slow down, Mr. Rush!)

 

Cardinal Christoph Schonborn (Can’t decide which side he’s on)

 

Fr Adolfo Nicolas Pachon, Superior General of the Jesuit Order (If looks could kill…)

 

Cardinal Timothy Dolan (Guffaw!)