Sorry

…for the paucity of posts in the last few weeks. Thanks to everyone who keeps coming back, and especially to those who have donated a little to the Keep-Hilary-Alive funds. Things have been quite difficult, and it’s not over yet. I’ve found a place in the vicinity of Perugia, but the search has drained my physical resources to the point where I can no longer distinguish between being exhausted and being ill. I begged off another trip up there this weekend because I simply could not do it again. I’ve got a couple of weeks to rest, and then have to go up to Norcia to pack up the house. I’ll move my things out and into the spare room in the place in P. but can’t live there until after the middle of April, so after that it’s back down to Lazio to live out of a suitcase for a few more weeks.

Meanwhile, I’m going to be guzzling vitamin supplements and eating nothing but fish and meat and vegetables to try to gain back some semblance of functional health. I’ve come to the stage in the perpetual exhaustion that my old normally-dormant epilepsy has come back; I had a visit from my old childhood pal the other day, something I don’t normally get nowadays unless I’ve got a furious fever. The result was spending most of Tuesday in bed. Stress and exhaustion are having other weird effects. I nearly walked straight into a wall the other day at a train station somewhere…

So, this is what being “worried sick” means… good to know.

I had a long conversation with my bloggie-buddie Steve Skojec last night, and we both noted that quite a few of the people whose voices have been strongest against the Regime are currently undergoing massive and crushing personal and domestic crises right now. And that these are making it nearly impossible to write or think clearly. We just don’t have the extra juice to pay attention to anything but the immediate necessities of survival at the moment. We were wondering if this is no mere coincidence.

It’s incredibly frustrating to be watching the entire catastrophe unfolding and being more or less unable to fulfill any useful role in it all. But at the moment, it seems that writing is just not really possible. I hope it will get better soon and as of last weekend I think the end of the tunnel has finally come into view. But it seems like a combination of stress, exhaustion, the long-term effects of chemo/surgery, creeping depression and earthquake-induced homelessness has come crashing down on me at last. So I guess we can call this a sick note. I’ll just have to take a break.

So, hold that thought.

HJMW

UPDATE: a note about comments. I’ve shut off commenting for all posts older than 14 days. The only reason for this is that in the last few days I’ve been targeted by a Russian spammer on a bunch of older posts that had high numbers. And the guy is pouring hundreds of spams an hour. I’ve tried de-posting some of them, but he just goes to the next one on his list and I can’t keep up. Comments are still mostly moderated by hand one at a time whenever I have time, and I’ve just had to go through 2500 today and have just been bulk-dumping them 20 at a time. So if your comment has not been posted, this is why.

We’ll see if the new thing deters this guy.
~

14 thoughts on “Sorry”

  1. Pingback: Hilary White, Franciszek jest papieżem dotąd aż papież nie powie, że nim nie jest – W OBRONIE TRADYCJI I WIARY
  2. Trackback: Hilary White, Franciszek jest papieżem dotąd aż papież nie powie, że nim nie jest – W OBRONIE TRADYCJI I WIARY
  3. Hilary White says:

    Sorry, Eejay, but I’ve absolutely no idea.

  4. Eejay says:

    Another quick message to bring to your attention a site certification problem. I have recently changed back to my previous web browser (amongst other problems it was blocking me from entering your blog), and I get a pop-up warning me again regarding your site’s certification. It appears it has expired. I do not know if other people experience the same as I do, so maybe it is a problem at my end, I do not experience anything like this with other blogs. God bless you, Eejay.

  5. Pingback: Hilary White: Wieviele Finger hält Franziskus gerade hoch? Amoris Laetitia und die Unterwerfung – Tradition und Glauben
  6. Trackback: Hilary White: Wieviele Finger hält Franziskus gerade hoch? Amoris Laetitia und die Unterwerfung – Tradition und Glauben
  7. johanna donovan says:

    Dear Hilary,
    I think all of the above have expressed my feelings well. Your sense
    that you have done the right thing is heartening. I wish you (and kitties)
    Godspeed in your new adventure.
    jd

  8. louiseyvette says:

    Good idea about the comments too, btw.

  9. louiseyvette says:

    Dear Hilary, I always love hearing from you, except to hear of such sad circumstances as this, but even then it’s good to know how you are, because we can always pray for you and help in other ways when possible. Still, you don’t need to apologise.

    “I had a long conversation with my bloggie-buddie Steve Skojec last night, and we both noted that quite a few of the people whose voices have been strongest against the Regime are currently undergoing massive and crushing personal and domestic crises right now. And that these are making it nearly impossible to write or think clearly.”

    Yep. I’m afraid I’ve been expecting this. It’s no mere coincidence. I’m praying daily for the Triumph of the Immaculate Heart. I’ll be keeping you and all the members of The Resistance, in my prayers.

  10. Hilary White says:

    I really haven’t been painting since the quakes. But no, I don’t make copies. I paint original works on terracotta tiles. So far, they sell for between $500 and $1000 US. Though I’ve been chastised a little by other artists for going so low. It tends to bring down the price of paintings generally, and that makes it harder for other people to make a living.

  11. Kathy Hamaker says:

    I believe you said you are an artist,is there anyway to produce copies of your art, I’d buy a piece but my ceiling would be $200 American. Who knows you might discover you’d have a world wide following.

  12. Tiger184 says:

    “We just don’t have the extra juice to pay attention to anything but the immediate necessities of survival at the moment.”

    I call it “my universe has temporarily shrunk so that I am only able to focus on getting better”.

    Prayers for your speedy and sustained recovery are incoming! Hopefully when all the dust settles you will have a new perspective, meanwhile rest and take care of yourself.

    God Bless!

  13. Ademar says:

    J.M.J.

    A big THANK YOU!!!!, Miss White, for helping lead the rest of us with your
    clear thinking all this while!!

    If the attacks are so severe on you and others of like mind, I wonder
    if the general Church/world crisis will not be coming to a very dramatic head soon.

    Rest up, and enjoy your cuddly kitties and some nice tea: even Aragorn had to sleep
    a long time after the battle of the Hornburg before attempting the Paths of the Dead
    to reach the climactic conflict at Minas Tirith!

    God bless you!

  14. Linda says:

    Your.
    Not you’re.

  15. Linda says:

    Yes, you’re prayers and suffering count.
    More than we know.

  16. Liz says:

    Prayers for you , Hillary. You’ve had so much on your plate. Take time to rest and heal. Your prayers and suffering count too.

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