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Arrrr ye scurvey dogs!! Hold fast and talk like a pirate! Arrrr!



It’s International Talk Like a Pirate Day

“It’s been celebrated by millions of people on all seven continents – yes, even at the South Pole – and on the International Space Station!” according to the official International Talk Like a Pirate Day website.

On Talk Like a Pirate Day, you can walk into a Krispy Kreme shop dressed and talking like a buccaneer, and walk out with a doughnut – without paying. ‘Cause that’s the way we buccaneers roll.

Here’s a brief tutorial on how to talk like a pirate.

How To …

… Talk* Like a Pirate

* or as our UK mates apparently prefer, “… Speak Like A Pirate”

Pirate lingo is rich and complicated, sort of like a good stew. We’ve got links to a few glossaries, but if you just want a quick fix, a surface gloss, a “pirate patina,” if you will, here are the five basic words that you cannot live without. Master them, and you can face Talk Like a Pirate Day with a smile on your face and a parrot on your shoulder, if that’s your thing.

Ahoy! – “Hello!”

Avast! – Stop and give attention. It can be used in a sense of surprise, “Whoa! Get a load of that!” which today makes it more of a “Check it out” or “No way!” or “Get off!”

Aye! – “Why yes, I agree most heartily with everything you just said or did.”

Aye aye! – “I’ll get right on that sir, as soon as my break is over.”

Arrr! – This one is often confused with arrrgh, which is of course the sound you make when you sit on a belaying pin. “Arrr!” can mean, variously, “yes,” “I agree,” “I’m happy,” “I’m enjoying this beer,” “My team is going to win it all,” “I saw that television show, it sucked!” and “That was a clever remark you or I just made.” And those are just a few of the myriad possibilities of Arrr!

Advanced pirate lingo; or On beyond “Aarrr!”

Once you’ve mastered the basics, you’re ready to start expanding your pirate vocabulary. Try these for starters

Beauty – The best possible pirate address for a woman. Always preceded by “me,” as in, “C’mere, me beauty,” or even, “me buxom beauty,” to one particularly well endowed. You’ll be surprised how effective this is.

Bilge rat – The bilge is the lowest level of the ship. It’s loaded with ballast and slimy, reeking water. A bilge rat, then, is a rat that lives in the worst place on the ship. On TLAP Day – A lot of guy humor involves insulting your buddies to prove your friendship. It’s important that everyone understand you are smarter, more powerful and much luckier with the wenches than they are. Since bilge rat is a pretty dirty thing to call someone, by all means use it on your friends.

Bung hole – Victuals on a ship were stored in wooden casks. The stopper in the barrel is called the bung, and the hole is called the bung hole. That’s all. It sounds a lot worse, doesn’t it? On TLAP Day – When dinner is served you’ll make quite an impression when you say, “Well, me hearties, let’s see what crawled out of the bung hole.” That statement will be instantly followed by the sound of people putting down their utensils and pushing themselves away from the table. Great! More for you!

Grog – An alcoholic drink, usually rum diluted with water, but in this context you could use it to refer to any alcoholic beverage other than beer, and we aren’t prepared to be picky about that, either. Call your beer grog if you want. We won’t stop you! Water aboard ship was stored for long periods in slimy wooden barrels, so you can see why rum was added to each sailor’s water ration – to kill the rancid taste. On TLAP Day – Drink up, me hearties! And call whatever you’re drinking grog if you want to. If some prissy pedant purses his lips and protests the word grog can only be used if drinking rum and water, not the Singapore Sling you’re holding, keelhaul him!

Hornpipe – Both a single-reeded musical instrument sailors often had aboard ship, and a spirited dance that sailors do. On TLAP Day – We are not big fans of the capering, it’s not our favorite art form, if you will, so we don’t have a lot to say on the subject, other than to observe that the common term for being filled with lust is “horny,” and hornpipe then has some comical possibilities. “Is that a hornpipe in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me? Or both?”

Lubber – (or land lubber) This is the seaman’s version of land lover, mangled by typical pirate disregard for elocution. A lubber is someone who does not go to sea, who stays on the land. On TLAP Day – More likely than not, you are a lubber 364 days of the year. But not if you’re talking like a pirate! Then the word lubber becomes one of the more fierce weapons in your arsenal of piratical lingo. In a room where everyone is talking like pirates, lubber is ALWAYS an insult.

Smartly – Do something quickly. On TLAP Day – “Smartly, me lass,” you might say when sending the bar maid off for another round. She will be so impressed she might well spit in your beer.

9 thoughts on “Arrrr ye scurvey dogs!! Hold fast and talk like a pirate! Arrrr!”

  1. MaryK says:

    My daughter-in-law took my 3 little grandsons to Krispy Kreme. They were dressed like pirates AND spoke like pirates. The oldest (6) told me they got ‘a hundred doughnuts’! Actually, they each received a dozen. I had never heard of the free doughnut thing. Hilarious. And tasty. Arrrr.

  2. Tom Miller says:

    What does an octogenarian pirate say?

    “Aye matey!”

  3. Evangeline10 says:

    I always miss TLAP Day!! Rats!

    What are pirates favorite socks? Aaarrrrrgyle.

    What has 12 arms, 12 legs, 12 eyes? A dozen pirates.

    So long, ya sons of sea snakes. (I made that one up)

  4. louiseyvette says:

    Why are pirates so bad?

    They just aaaarrrrr!

  5. Barbara says:

    This brings to mind (and cheers me no end): the scene where Peter Sellers in one of the PInk Panther movies dresses up as a pirate to suss out bad guys on a wharf. He has an inflatable rubber parrot on his shoulder that keeps deflating – he pumps it up by using bellows in his arm pit. Pump, pump, back up goes the parrot. He also comes a purler when his wooden leg gets caught in a knot-hole as he staggers along.

    Thanks for bringing this scene back to my mind.

  6. David Wilson says:

    A pirate joke a friend shared with me:
    What’s a pirate’s favorite letter?
    You might think so, but it’s the C!

  7. Ademar says:


    Oy, Miss White, while humor appreciated, we could do without some of the vulgarity scattered amid!

  8. Fuquaysteve says:

    I notice the bar waitresses pirate title is omitted. My new found compunction has my fingers and tongue unable to type or speak the ‘translation’.

  9. Gerard Brady says:

    Why has a pirate never made it to the moon? Because it’s too faaaaaar!!

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